Time Just Keeps on Tickin...

So my idea of blogging to remember things is more difficult to keep up on, as I'd have thought. But who am I kidding, I tell people that for a living (keeping up a blog is harder than you think).

Today Olive's 3 months old and I busted out the floor mat thing with the dangly stuff hanging. Happy graduation OG!

SHE LOVES IT!  She absolutely loves it.  It's so cute.  Yeah so she can just bat at it right now, but hey, she is a good batter!

It's funny how things that are new are SO exciting and then they just become the norm.  She laughed for the first time a couple weeks ago, like a real laugh. Ha ha's in a row, you know?  And I tried so hard to get her to do it again for a week, but nothing.  Then on Tuesday she laughed again.  Then today in the morning AND at night.  Pretty soon it will be so standard, but I try to get her to do it as if she will never laugh again!

I don't have too much to say right now, but I was laughing at myself tonight when I was so amazed by her giggles.

My nana was saying how people grow up and change and she misses the people they were. I might not be saying it as eloquently as she did, but I think about it all the time now.  I see little Olive looking around so cute and curious and I think to myself, "wow she will never be this little person again."

She will be cute and wonderful later too, but she just won't be that person anymore.  I'm not making much sense, but it makes me be so in the moment.  Having a baby has made me so much more aware of small moments in life and the understanding that this time is passing so quick and can never be recaptured.

The 2nd Best Time Of Day

My favorite time of day is the morning, when Olive wakes up and is SUPER happy.

But the second best time of day is bath time! She loves it, I love it, it's a win win.

Beauty in Bonding

I think I fall more and more in love with my baby each day that passes. Being a mom gets a lot more rewarding as your baby starts to develop a personality, and best of all, lights up and smiles every time she sees you.

I have this problem where I am constantly trying to record Olive when she's doing something new or extra cute. Of course, it never works, it never happens. And tonight I realized that there's something special about that.

It's like all this time that she and I get to spend together is a secret just for us. It really hit me. Who cares if I can capture it for everyone else? It's so special that I'm the only one who gets to witness those private and amazing little breakthrough moments. It's an award.

This doesn't meant I wont still share her growth with my friends and family from afar, but I definitely won't be so quick to think I need to find my camera and snap a shot.

Everything's changing so fast, and I try to be in the moment every minute I can. It's so intense. I think about how I must be like every other mother thinking, "I have the CUTEST baby in the world!" She is so cute I just can't even stand it.

It's a scary kind of love.

hehehe

Olive had her first real laugh tonight.  It wasn't like the smiley one breathed ha that she's been doing, it was a  real hearty ha ha ha ha ha ha kind of laugh.

I was shaking a little round fabric rattle in front of her face and she somehow found it amusing enough to laugh at! I was SOOOOO happy, what an absolutely adorable sound!!!!

Magic Pooing Chair

I have now discovered TWO things that make Olive poo.  One was the puj (if you remember pooing in a puj) but the other is the magic poo chair.

Someone I know calls it a buzzy chair, so that is generally what I call it too now.  Except for in the mornings.  In the mornings it is called the magic poo chair because NO MATTER what, when she sits in there, she poos.

I got it for 5 bucks at a garage sale, and it's not as cute and fancy as some of the newfangled ones I see, but it does the trick.

Maybe it's those calming vibrations or the splashy water sounds it makes, but it's really getting funny how magical it is. I know you wouldn't normally use the words magic and poo together in the same sentence, but I do it with no shame.

Magic poo chair, I love you.

The Innocence of Child

It's trippy sitting here watching my tiny baby girl sit so happily in her buzzy chair, looking around, tasting her hand, making little noises... just so content.   But behind her in the background there's a commercial of a woman who has no voice from smoking. She's bagging on the tobacco industry, and I wonder, "Will Olive ever try smoking? Will she be a smoker?" She doesn't even have any idea what a cigarette is yet.

Then comes the news of Egypt and I see all the horrible things happening around the world as she just sits here so innocently and unaware.  It makes me sad to think about the things she is going to go through in life and the things she might experience, the things we always see and think, "glad that was not me"...

I know she will laugh and have good times, but she's also going to cry and go through hard times. And it's a new feeling I don't like, to sit here and see her little innocent eyes look up at me. I think about how she just has no idea.

You just want to hold and protect them forever.

Maternity Jeans

I now fit in my maternity jeans again.

Yes you heard right. I bought some super cute designer maternity jeans about mid pregnancy and they eventually became too tight.  But they fit again now!  I know you aren't supposed to wear maternity clothes after pregnancy, but I finally have some pants that fit and that aren't leggings or cozy pjs, so I'm wearing them!

BOOBS!

So as I slowly lose weight I find myself getting closer and closer into wearing some of my old clothes again. Except for one, small (or should I say large) thing...

These DAMN boobs! They DO NOT make cute clothes for busty women, I tell you! Or maybe I just don't feel good with big boobs. I am going on a date with my husband tonight for the first time since Olive was born. I want to look cute and feel somewhat confident, so I went out to buy a new top.

For one thing, shopping with a baby, not so easy. My stroller really does not maneuver well in a crowded H&M store. Needless to say, in an hour and a half, I only got into that one store last night, and I found what I thought might work. I had a simple criteria:

1. Long
2. Large
3. Not tight in the middle but not a potato sack.

I found a nice top that fit that description. It has long tiered layers to cover my hip area and old baby uterus syndrome and could be worn with leggings. But the only problem was when I zipped it up it squished my boobs, and unzipping it made it look stupid.

Now I look in my closet for something and I'm realizing, Ok now I weigh 153, I MIGHT be able to sneak into some of my bigger pre pregnancy clothes.

But no. These boobs. They don't fit in ANYTHING. Plus, a little hard prego belly looks a lot cuter in tight clothes than left over fat.

So I'm back to square one. Baggy clothes for date night. Unless.. do I dare bust out my girdle?

I'll let you know...

Me n Babe

What a good baby...

So I'm really realizing what a good baby Olive is. I know I had a stressful night and wrote about how the only way to calm her down was to let her breastfeed, and after all, it's a blog so I definitely vent here, but the more days that go by the more I realize she's so good!

Just after some simple observations, I've found I rarely need to calm her down by letting her breastfeed after all. In fact those 5 s's really work wonders. She could be very upset and crying and all you have to do is swaddle her, put her on her side, and jostle her around a bit. BOOM she's silent and content in under a minute.

Also I've been practicing letting her drift off on her own, because SO many people have been holding her since she was born that I was getting really worried about the way she would wake up when set down. But again, she's proven me stressed for no reason because she's really catching on quick to what I do.

If she wakes up after I set her down, I just help her to fall back asleep without picking her up. She now likes her swing finally. I can put her in there wide awake and she falls asleep on her own. We also let her lay wide awake in her moses basket last night because it was late, I was tired, and I thought, well she's probably fine so we went to sleep. Thankfully she eventually went to sleep on her own too. Good girl!

I've heard the first 6 weeks are the hardest, and I'm happy things are looking up. On the other hand, I still can barely pump 2 oz of a milk and sometimes none at all. I need to get a little guidance on that because it's definitely confusing me.

I'm happy that although she can be fussy and gassy and what not, she can always be calmed down. I love my little baby Olive!

(Here is a picture of her practicing sitting. She doesn't love laying on her tummy so this helps her with her neck muscles too... she liked it!)

Weight Loss

I wasn't going to weigh myself for a while because I didn't want to be disappointed. It was a good plan because today I went to the DR. and they weighed me. And I was disappointed.

I've lost 24 pounds and I now weigh 160. I guess I just thought I'd have lost more by now because so much of that was baby, placenta, water, etc.  I felt kind of bad in the car on the way home and cried for a few minutes. I have over 30 pounds left to loose before I am close to where I was before. 

I know it's going to take a lot of work, especially with such little sleep and time to work out, which is how, for the most part, I maintained my weight before. Luke was telling me he saw an interview with Kendra last night, she also gained 60 pounds and said she lost it all mostly by dieting and walking because there was not time to do a lot of working out.

Today we went to the store and I was stocking up on all kinds of healthy things to eat and I realized I had decided to try no dairy for a few weeks to see if it makes Olive less gassy. I had to put back a lot of the food I had been planning to eat.

Well, here we go... tiny jeans, will I ever see you again?

Bottles and Boob

So Olive's a month old now, and I definitely had some sort of mini one month break down tonight. I didn't cry or anything, I just felt really tired and stressed out.

My mom came down to help me clean the (tiny) apartment and watch Olive so I could get some work done. Well needless to say, it's now 3:30 in the morning and I finally got the real work done. How can it take ALL day to do laundry (not yet put away), go through your mounding pile of papers, take some time out to eat, oh yeah, and try the breast pump for the first time.

Olive had her first bottle feeding today, and no problems there! The only problem is how LONG it takes to pump out 2 ounces of milk! Now I can see why it's worth it to spend the extra money on a hands free double pump. I just sat there confined to the chair, holding the pump up to my boob, watching it ever so slooooowly drip, drip, drip...  I tried it again later in the night and I couldn't even get an ounce.

We had to go buy some warmer pajamas for her too. Everything we got passed down happens to be mostly little onesies that are too cold for right now, and she really sleeps better when she's all snug and warm (duh, who wouldn't).

I know I should go to bed, but being up right now reminds me of how much I love the middle of the night. It's so quiet and calm, and I really have not seen it since before I was pregnant. But tomorrow is another day and I'll be regretful if I don't get a little more sleep while I can.

Night night...

Work, What?

Tried to get back to work starting today... it's been completely unsuccessful so far, but after all, I've got to start somewhere. I will figure it out day by day. I'm sitting here with an article due tomorrow, a gassy baby who only calms down when I let her hang out on my boob all night, leaving my arms completely unavailable. And I can't seem to get moving until 11 am every day.  If only Luke could grow a boob.

Ah! My life is over...  for now. Where is that calm sleeping baby from a few weeks ago?

Pooing in a Puj

I tried the Puj tub in the bathroom sink last night, Olive seemed to have gas and I thought it might relax her to sit in the warm water. Boy did it ever! She pooped about 3 times, but the cool thing is, there is a hole right near that area of the tub so the pooy water just goes right out!

I really love this lil tub, it fills up to the perfect amount of water and you can keep the water running because it has little drain holes that keeps it from getting too full.  When we are done with it, it becomes flat so I can hang it up to dry in the shower and keep it out of the way. No this is not trying to be one of those cheesy mom blogs where I am advertising something, I just like it a lot!

Today when she was upset we put her in there again, and she fell asleep in her calmness.

Merry Christmas

Olive had her first Christmas, a party spanning 4 days long at 2 family's houses... wohoo Olive! You go girl!

3 Weeks

And she already looks different. She already doesn't fit in the same little ball on my chest. I know it will be exciting to see her smile and laugh and respond to us, but I still can't help feeling sad at how fast she's already changing. Helps me stay in the moment at least.