Tuesday, November 13, 2012


Dear Olive

I have so many things I want to write about, I was going to do a "fall" post to just talk about the last few weeks. But I did want to take a second and write this milestone that happened yesterday!

For the first time, you said "Thank you mommy" just on your own accord. It was so sweet <3

You were sitting in your learning tower and you wanted me to hand you a book. When I got it for you, I started to turn around when I heard you say it! I am glad you are learning what times warrant a please and thank you. Good girl!

Friday, September 28, 2012

A Big Girl, Or A Baby?

Dear Olive, Are you a big girl, or a baby? I ask you this all the time. Not because I'm trying to trick you, but because I can't tell.

It's so cliche, but until you are a mom you won't understand the saying, "You'll always be my baby."

You are really on the brink of being too big for your crib, because remember, we have a mini crib. Sometimes I go check on you and your legs are sticking out of the side. SO, we put up a mesh side rail and showed you your new big girl bed!

You loved it and you wouldn't even let me in there. I was wondering what you were going to do in the morning once you realized you could get up on your own. It was so cute, you stood with the door opened just a tiny crack, and you peeked out for a really long time. Finally I called you, and you were so happy and came running out. The same thing happened the next morning too, but you waited even longer.

Then out of nowhere, you decided the bed scared you and you wanted back to your crib. For a few nights I was able to lay with you and get you to comply, but now if I get up you freak out and point to your crib. I'm not sure if I got rid of the crib if you'd be more ok with the bed since you wouldn't see it, but I'm also afraid that I'd regret moving it if you really wouldn't settle down.

So, for now, you're back in your crib. For now.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Sweet Little Things

Dear Olive,

I don't write as much anymore because everything I want to write seems like it will be so cheesy. But then I remember why I am doing this, for you to read someday, and for my horrible memory, and I don't care.

Honestly you are so, so sweet and I love you much. Sometimes you are absolutely crazy and you throw some intense tantrums too. But those aren't anything compared to your cuteness.

I remember a blog I wrote last year, about how at night when I put you to bed, you put your head on my shoulder the second the lights go out and we stand by the crib. I remember I said that even though I'm exhausted and looking forward to the down time, I still try to stand there in the moment and remember how it feels to have you as a baby and allowing me to hold you like that. I said it won't always be that way, but you know what? You still do that, and I still pause and enjoy it for a brief second before I lay you down.

Lately you've been whispering right before bed. I'll be holding you by the bed and say, "Ok Olive, ready for night night?" And you whisper back, "Yes."  I will ask you a few a questions and you always whisper back.  I think it's the sweetest thing, especially because nobody has taught you that move.

I put you in bed and I put a blankey over you and I like to give you a little animal to hug. You don't seem to care if I put a blankey on you, and you don't ask for any animals, but I do it anyway and your little arm wraps around it. You aren't particular as to what stuffed animal you have, you just love them all equally.

Tonight the funniest thing happened. We went to chucky cheese for Kai's birthday, just Nicole and me and you two kids. We were early and just waited around, and you stuck by me pretty close asking for Kai. When they finally arrived you were so thrilled, I've never seen it before. When I set you down on the ground and you literally took of RUNNING all around Chucky Cheese, not even noticing if Kai was following you. You were just sooooo ecstatic at life when he showed up. I know that's a pretty boring story, but the way it went down was hilarious, and I Just wanted to make sure I never forget that mental image.

You kiss your dollies gently on the forehead, you rub my back when I'm laying down, and you whisper when I put you to bed. Can you stay this sweet forever?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Lucky in Life

Dear Olive,

Today we rode our bike to the beach. I wanted to let you run around and see the dogs and get some fresh air. I felt so good when we were there. It was so beautiful, the sand was warm, and everyone was happy.

I was just watching you stand in the water thinking about how it doesn't scare you when the waves come up across your feet. The seaweed was moving around your legs and you were playing and laughing and it hit me just how lucky we are to live here. I hope you realize it one day too.

Sometimes we talk about the idea of moving. The idea of living somewhere that isn't so hard to keep up with and get by in. I don't know if you'll ever remember the things we do while you're young, especially if we do move. And I don't know if you'll ever be able to appreciate where we live if we don't.

But in the mean time, even though life can be kind of fast paced and sometimes a little hard to keep up with, we have to take a moment and just sit on the beach and breathe. Just try to remember that Olive.

Monday, May 21, 2012


Dear Olive,

We had our first camping trip as a family. I wanted to go for mother's day, especially because we are going on a long camping trip at the end of summer and I wanted to do a test run. You slept great, all night in the tent in the pack n play, and of course you loved the outdoors.

Nicole, Dane, and Kai came and it was Nicole's first time ever camping. (Those New Yorkers). Unfortunately you lost my phone when you took it out of the tent to play with it, and I lost a lot of our pictures, but here are a couple!

Kai wearing your pants
Hardly can see you through all the stuff!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Dear Olive,

I felt I just HAD to take a few minutes to write about your first pee on the potty. Total baby book material right here! Although I'm sure most people won't care about this entry except a few mommy friends!

We just got out of the bath and so you didn't have a diaper on. I decided to go pee pee and so you copied me on your little ducky potty. Voila! Just like that. You even took a little toilet paper and took care of that biz.

Olive I'm so proud of you! I guess we just need to give you more opportunity to do what nature calls you to do without a diaper on.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The ER Experience

Dear Olive,

You had your first visit to the emergency room last night.  Let it be known that I am not an over protective crazy mom, but at the same time, when you act this weird even I question what is going on.

You are a solid sleeper. You sleep 12 hours every night, even when you're sick. The only time you have not slept good was when you had an ear infection. However you were able to sleep soundly as long as you were propped up on our chests during the night.

We are staying in Fallbrook this week and last night you would not sleep. Around three in the morning I could not even calm you down, and after a couple hours I grew tired. Grandmakin suggested I take you down to the ER so you could get some meds for your ear infection, because we assumed that's what was going on. You had been walking really funny and off balanced all day, which is what you did last time too.

When I got there, they did some tests to see if it was indeed an ear infection. The Dr. seemed very awkward around you and didn't do a good job examining you in my opinion. After determining you did not have an ear infection, nor the same cough/cold that I have, the nurse came back in wheeling a cart of tools with her. She explained that you might have some sort of infection but they needed to do a blood and urine test to find out what. They said your heart rate was 200 which is really, really high, even for a crying baby. The Dr. said since you were not pulling on your ears, it must not be an ear infection. He even checked your ears and said nothing looked bad. They just stood there staring at you puzzled, it was so awkward.

They were going to put a catheter in you and also draw blood, plus hook up an IV because she said if your white blood cell count came back high you would have to go Children's hospital down in San Diego.

WOAH WOAH WOAH. Let's slow down here. Put a little baby through all that trauma because you want to get to the bottom of her crankiness? He said, "She's obviously upset, and we have to find out why."

Of course you were upset! You had not slept and you were being poked at by total strangers in the middle of the night! My mother intuition kicked in right away and I told them to just hold on and let me think. We live in San Diego, so if they are going to do a bunch of uncomfortable testing, I'd rather do it down there and once, not twice. I'd rather Luke be with me, and I'd rather not rush something so extreme.

They gave me a huge guilt trip for denying their care and made me sign a release, which I did as I bolted out of there. They don't know you at all, and they stared at you like they had never seen a baby before. I know, I know, they are emergency room doctors, not pediatricians, but even more reason I didn't trust them.

They seemed sure you had something very wrong with you, and it really scared me. But I know you best, and I had a feeling they were mistaken. Of course I'm not going to take a risk and not investigate further, so I just drove back down to San Diego and we took you to your regular Dr. What does he find out? Lo and behold, you have a double ear infection after all.

The exam was quick and easy, plus the Dr. removed some ear wax that was blocking his ability to tell if you had an ear infection or not. We got you some medicine and you are on your way to good health I hope. He informed us if there was not an ear infection he'd probably have proceeded with some urine tests too, but all we'd have to do was put a baggy diaper thing on you to collect it, not jam a catheter up your poor little baby bladder.

They agreed 200 is not a good heart rate, and that yes, it's high. But a really dangerous one is more like 240 and I feel like the ER had really been trying to scare me into submission.

It just maddens and sickens me how rash some health "professionals" are. I am so grateful they are here for when we need them, but this was an instance when I am glad I used some good common sense and intuition.

Nobody wants to hear that their baby has a double ear infection. But I can't tell you in this case how relieving it was to find out that's all you had.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Shoe Girl

Dear Olive,

I think you have a shoe fetish. Already. Your dad and I are both sick right now, so we have been taking turns taking you into the other room while one of us sleeps. While we were stuck in the little room together I decided to dig out a bin of stuff I had been storing for you. It was stuff that was too big for you and I was keeping aside for "one day". Well, one day came quick and some of the stuff is already too small! I found an array of shoes, and I needed to try them on you to see which would fit you and which needed to be stored.

You were having a ball! You were obsessed with these brown moccasins that are just a hair too big. You wanted them on your feet so badly! Then there were the little shiny patent leather mary janes you insisted on putting on for the rest of the day. While you were having a blast trying on shoes I thought to myself,  "Uh Oh. . . this could be bad down the road."

In other news, I keep calling you baby Olive but you are so NOT a baby anymore. You play all kinds of games and you want to use the utensils by yourself and you don't use a bottle. It's actually really enjoyable but I still see you as a tiny little baby girl.

We just got home from visiting your God parents in Hawaii. The plane flight was AWFUL. We thought we'd be clever by taking overnight flights so you would sleep the whole time. That was a mistake, you just fidgeted and cried and were grumpy most the time. On the way home I told your dad it was his turn to take you and he went on ahead of me so you wouldn't see me. He even sat in a different row, and all was well. I started watching the movie and getting settled when all of the sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder. You dad wanted me to open something for him, but what was worse, you poked your little head over and saw me. That was that, it was all over for me. I had to take you the way home too. No offense little Olive, but don't take a toddler on an overnight flight, just opt for the day time one when they will be bright eyed and bushy tailed. We are unsure if we want to fly again anytime soon with you, but it was worth it to see such good friends and family.

You learned how to say Kitty Cat because the Hollingsworths have so many cats, and everyone else on the island has a ridiculous amount of dogs. Of course that made you very happy though. You loved Hawaiian sand even more than San Diego sand! You literally would roll around in it, even get it all over your face and in your eyes. Silly sand monster. I have some great pictures of you running around naked in the water but those will definitely not be put on this blog! Maybe to embarrass you I will blow them up big and put them in your room someday. :)

Monday, February 6, 2012

You'll Do As You Want

Dear Olive,

It doesn't matter what time I put you to bed, after a month of trying a later bed time, you will still wake at 7. Ironically it is 7:45a right now and you are still asleep, but it's a fluke. At least it's given me a unexpected minute to write a post to you.

I have been slightly envious of my friends whose babies are not in full walking swing yet, and I wish I'd taken the advice of everyone who told me, "Enjoy it while she doesn't walk!" You don't just walk. . . you toddle, run, do circles around the house, and are constantly moving from the moment you wake up until you (maybe a take a nap) or go to bed. You have so much energy it's amazing, and exhausting!

I watched a friend's baby sit on a pillow on her first birthday and open presents. I thought aloud, "Wow, Olive would never sit like that" and I was envious as I kept having to get up to make sure you didn't run out of the building and into the street.

Her father replied, "I trained her in Daddy Day Care."

It made me think, am I a bad mother? Do people look at me and think, "Oh there goes that rebellious Olive and her nonchalant mother!"

I'm pretty sure he was kidding, plus the baby isn't quite running around yet. But it made me think, at what age do you start forcing a baby to sit still or "behave" a certain way? I asked my pediatrician the same thing a while back, when you would not sit in your high chair in restaurants. He said it was best to just avoid places like that since you don't understand.

But at what point do we move from you not understanding to you just not listening? I'm sure it's coming. . . the day you try to squiggle out of my arms and run around and I have to force you to sit in my lap. What will happen? Will you scream and make a scene? Will you give up and be ok?

I don't take you to formal things, you're a toddler. But if I have to, what will happen?

You've always been different than your baby friends we know. And they are different than their baby friends. You're all very unique and it's so cute to witness the differences. But you've always had a lot of spirit and spunk, and I'm beginning to wonder when it's going to catch up with me!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Picky, Picky

Dear Olive,

You've become quite the picky eater. How did this happen? When you were first starting out you seemed to gobble down everything so happily. You just want to nibble all day long and it's driving me crazy! I think the worst thing I did was teach you the "more" sign.

Yesterday we went to the beach and for the first time you bolted down to the water. You absolutely loved it! You got all muddy and ridiculously wet, next time I'm going to need to bring better clothes for you. Now I get it when you see naked babies running around the beach.

I've been trying to train you to go to bed later so that you will sleep later. So far it has not been the outcome I've hoped for. Up until now, you've slept at 6:30 or 7pm until about 6:45am. Great twelve hour sleeper! But I work at night and I'm so exhausted by then, it's hard to think straight. I was hoping that by slowly getting you to bed later you'd sleep in a little more and I could wake up early and focus before the day starts.

So for the past couple weeks you've been going to bed closer to 8:30 but you're still waking up in the early seven oclock hour. I'm not giving up yet, but if it doesn't start getting later, I'm hoping I can still get you back to bed early again.

Ugh I'm bored just writing about this sleep stuff. Moving on. More to write soon my dear!