Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Our Sweet Carmen

Dear Olive,

I want to tell you just a little bit here, about your Godmother Carmen. You probably won't remember her, but you enjoyed being with her during the time you got to spend with her.

I loved Carmen, and her whole family, from the moment I met them. Some years later, she moved to Hawaii. She always wanted to be a Hawaiian princess, so why not? I would visit whenever I could, but I was so jealous of all the good times she was having out there without me, and I would of course tell her so, and she'd always remind me that she loved me. That's just how she was, you didn't need to pry love out of Carmen like you need to pry it out of some people.

Recently, she wanted a change of pace, and to get out of Hawaii for a bit. She asked if she could live with us, and it was a no brainer. I set her up in your room with you because it's the larger room, and I told her I just couldn't deal with bringing you in my room because you'd never go back to yours once she left. You got to sleep on an air mattress and you generously gave up your bed for Carmen, I was actually so happy you did not mind, you know you are quite the feisty one at times when your routine is interrupted. But you're also 3, so it's not like I was going to let you lounge around in a double bed when Carmen was here.

Pic Carmen took of you sleeping
Haha I want to write these funny things down while I remember them- Once, in the middle of the night a couple weeks after Carmen arrived, you came in my room and said very sleepily and very cautiously, "Something's making noise in my room!!!" I said, "Oh it's just Carmen, Olive, she's just snoring." And I put you back to bed. Sometimes you would even get up in the night and go in bed with her. Carmen said it was because she didn't want you to come wake me up all night, and I told her I felt bad and I was sorry you were doing that... but you know what? She said she liked it, and you reminded her of her baby Huggy Bear, her most beloved pup when you cuddled with her.

She'd help you into your frilly fancy princess dresses and even let you out of the house in them, lucky girl. I have a funny video she took of you in Soup Plantation while you were eating sprinkles off your fingers. She was cracking up and she said, "You have to look at the end." It's nothing thrilling, but I just wanted to save it. I have a few other funny videos, one where she was showing you Disney Princess songs on YouTube.

video
Every time you heard keys in the hallway you'd leap up and exclaim, "Carmen's back!! Is that Carmen??" and you just frankly adored her. Haha I was also laughing to myself that she had no issues telling you when you were being ridiculous, or to stop whining, right from the start. True family.

Carmen was one of those people who didn't have to pass away for you to suddenly remember all the good things about her. In fact, I don't think there is a person out there who knew her who didn't have the exact same loving things to say about her when she was with us here on earth, as they would after she left us.

She was joyful to be around, and she loved (almost) everyone. She always called me out when I was being mean to someone... If I didn't like what some girl was wearing she would inevitably say, "Awww, I think she's cute..." and so it would go- all. the. time.

Carmen said that I was a part of her. I knew it was true, I knew it was always there. But I didn't fully grasp that until recently...until it stops my breath short and my chest closes up. The person I am today, and have been for the past 15 years is directly correlated with her. I hope I can become a better person going forward in my life, when I think about the way she treated me, and others, so lovingly. I hope we can talk and tell stories about her love throughout your life, because the impression Carmen left on the world and the people in it is the way I should hope we leave it too, which will be hard to do. The world was a better place because she was in it. There really just is nobody else like her.